Chop Wood Carry Water

As I was walking along the beach, I saw an old brass lamp sticking out of the sand. I snatched it up and turned it over, brushing at the ancient markings etched on its side.

A cloud of brilliant blue smoke poured from the spout, followed by a huge genie. Not only was he wearing the traditional genie garb: turban punctuated with a large ruby, red silk smoking jacket, but he wore a pair of smooth black leather loafers as well.

"Well," he began arrogantly, smoothing his elegant Persian mustache, "I haven't got all day. Make your miserable wish and be done with me."

"I really don't know what to wish for," I stammered. After all this was the first genie I'd ever encountered.

"Most people today settle for several million dollars," he muttered, inspecting his nails.

"That would only get me in hot water with the IRS. They'd probably audit me back to 1964 to my first job after college."

"Wine, women and song, perhaps" he said, his eyebrows raised in a knowing smile.

"But I'm happily married. " I said. "Besides I'd rather put what little extra time I have into art."

"Well what then?" He demanded, sounding both aristocratic and exasperated. "Hurry up! I haven't got all day."

"How about enlightenment," I asked him.

"Be careful what you ask for," he warned me. "Enlightenment is dangerous to the sleeping man. It may require giving up more than you might get back."

" That's okay," I agreed. "I'm ready to give more of my life to service."

"What's that got to do with it?” He insisted. "Nothing really changes: Before enlightenment chop wood carry water. After enlightenment chop wood carry water. No free lunch."

I can appreciate that," I began. "I think my ego could handle this sort of a quantum leap. Besides, it's all freed up isn't it Right and wrong melts into a cosmic dance, My heart center will totally open and I'll experience unconditional universal love! Right?"

"No!” He shook his head. "Before enlightement —chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water."

"You mean once I'm enlightened I'll get to spend more time in meditation, practice seemingly impossible yoga postures and change my diet to brown rice with occasional sips of green tea?"

He waved away my questions. "There is a great river separating enlightment from liberation." He grabbed me and jabbed his right thumb into the top of my head. I felt very dizzy. Then I was sitting on the beach, giggling incoherently. The lamp was nowhere in sight. Everything seemed funny, though I didn't know why. I stood up and felt a vague connection with the sand and the beach shrubs. I looked at the distant ocean and tears filled my eyes. I walked back to the cottage where Tasha and I were staying.

Tasha waved to me. "Beloved, could you gather some wood for the fireplace," she smiled. "Oh and bring in the Perrier water from the car, please?"

I began to laugh. In my mind's eye I saw the genie; he smirked and gave me a Persian wink.