Gertrude and Mable Dine Out

As the afternoon wore on Mabel went to the kitchen and returned with a platter of frozen fish sticks. "These are incredible," Barney said helping himself to several and lathering tarter sauce over them. "You sure know how to cook good Mabel."

` "All I did was open the package and warm them in the toaster oven." She replied modestly.

"It's the way you open the package and put them in that makes a big difference," Barney insisted. "Plus they're tender and the edges didn't get burnt." He proceeded to wolf down several more.

"Maybe we ought to call the Guinness Book of Records," Gertrude giggled. "I've never seen a man put away so many fish sticks so quickly."

"He loves to eat," Harry said. "Especially a women's cooking. How about you, Gert," he smiled at Gertrude. "I'll bet you can cook up a storm."

"My cooking days are behind me," Gertrude replied. "Once I could turn out a pretty good tuna surprise."

"What's was the surprise?" Harry asked.

"I guess that depended on whatever leftovers were in the ice box. Almost anything goes well with tuna."

"I think we should all plan to be together on New Years Eve." Barney said between mouthfuls. "You can do the cooking Mabel and we'll all have a blast."

"What makes you think she wants to cook?" Gertrude asked.

"Well it's what women do best," Barney said matter if factly. "Show me a woman who won't cook and I'll show you a ferminist who might even be a communist."

"You think?" Gertrude asked looking over at Mabel.

"He's just a hungry boy," Mabel said brushing off Barney's remark. "Look at him, why the poor man could use another ten pounds." She smiled and absently reached over and tousled Barney's wavy hair. Something atop his head seemed to move under her hand.

"No its true," Barney started to say then reached up nervously and clutched at his hair.

"I'm sorry," Mabel blushed. "I didn't realize."

"There are such things as restaurants," Gertrude said. "Or is that too subversive a suggestion."

"I'm fine with us all going to the diner for an early supper," Harry said generously. "No need to get fleeced at someplace expensive."

"A diner on New Years Eve?" Gertrude laughed. "Looks like we've run into two big time spenders Got any plans for afterwards?" Gertrude asked. "Or are we going to stay crammed in a booth 'till after midnight?"

"Maybe we could come back here and you know," Barney urged as he surreptitiously straightened his hairpiece.

"You know," Gertrude looked at Mabel. "We'll go to our rooms and do you know until the cows come home."

"You know what?" Mabel appeared confused. "Whatever are you all talking about?"

"What people our age do on New Years Eve!" Gertrude laughed.

"I usually just go to bed early," Mabel said.

` "My idea of a good time," Barney said finishing up the last of the fish sticks.