Gertrude and Mable Try Fishing

Gertrude and Mabel were entertaining Barney and Harry in the hospitality suite of their rest home.

"So you like baseball?" Barney asked Gertrude.

"I prefer a little hanky panky," she smiled.

"Panky," didn't he catch for the Phillies back in the '40's?"

"I've no idea," Gertrude said stifling a yawn.

"Strike one," Harry grinned.

"How about fish? You like to fish?" Barney asked. There was a silence at the table; the four of them sipped soda..

Then Gertrude smiled: "Only for compliments," she giggled. "Sometimes frozen fish sticks are ok for lunch."

"Don't pay any attention to him, " Harry said shaking his head. "You're obviously a woman of class."

She's the one with class," Gertrude said pointing at Mabel. "I've spent an entire lifetime trying to make ends meet. But Mabel here's a Republican."

"Getting by can be challenging as one grows older." Mabel said tactfully.

"The trick is just don't get sick." Barney told her. " Lots of fish and cuddling can keep you healthy; that way you hang onto your money and can take it with you."

"How's that?" Gertrude asked.

Barney lowered his voice. "Word is the Republicans are working out a secret plan."

"Sounds pretty fishy to me," Gertrude laughed.

"Worked for the pharaohs and maharajahs, no reason why we Republicans can't do it too."

Mabel looked confused. "Assuming there's anything left," she set down her cup.

"But who says you needs money in heaven? I always thought pie in the sky was free."

"Once maybe," Harry smiled. "Not anymore. Now milk and honey are expensive commodities."

"It depends which heaven you end up in," Barney said emphatically. "Democrat heaven is full of rules: big taxes, affirmative action, environmental demands, and quotas up and down for everything. But in Republican heaven you get to live well, and you're encouraged to spend all you want on luxuries."

"Really!" Gertrude raised her eyebrows and huffed.

"Strike two," Harry cautioned.

"Not only do you get to take it with you but this new plan gives all kinds of fringe benefits like World Series tickets and frequent flyer miles. Promised Land Reality Trust pays high divides to investors. I'll even have trout stream out back."

"I'm not a Republican," Gertrude managed a rye smile.

"Strike three," Harry laughed and jerked his right thumb up in the air.

"That's impossible!" Barney exclaimed. "You live in Grafton! Just about everyone in Grafton votes Republican."

"Au contraire," Gertrude said holding her own. "Al Smith and Franklin Roosevelt got warm receptions when they whistle stopped through here."

Barney turned his attention to Mabel. "You like to fish?"

Mabel wrinkled her nose. "I suppose fishing can be relaxing."

His face brightened. "Yes," he agreed eagerly! "Very relaxing. I'll bet you're a good cook too."

"Mabel has a way with frozen fish sticks," Gertrude encouraged giving Harry a wink.

Barney grinned. "You bet! Mabel, honey, today has all the earmarks for one hell of an enjoyable afternoon."

"Home run!" Harry laughed "Time for another round of sodas."