Mable's Birthday Party

Gertrude and Sadie wheeled Mabel's chocolate chip ice cream cake from Stoics Bakery ablaze with candles into the dining room of the Lonesome Traveler Inn. "Seventy five years young," Gertrude said to the assembled company. Friends and well wishers from all around Worcester were gathered round the big oak table loaded with tempting treats: a mountain of French Fries, Onion rings, spicy chips, garlic salsa, burgers and dogs. Gertrude waved her hand and everyone began to sing the traditional Happy Birthday.

"You'll have to help me blow them all out." Mabel took a deep breath and just to be on the safe side, pushed her tongue up against her top denture. She blew and they all went out but one

"Speech," Harry and Barney called out in unison as they wheeled a gigantic high definition TV into the dining room. "Happy Birthday Mabel! Enjoy!"

"You didn't have to."

"More to the point we wanted to," Harry told her. Barney attacked the spicy fries.

"It even comes with its own internet connection too," Gertrude said. "That way you'll need a good reason to get out of bed in the morning."

"Three quarters of a century," Seldom Thoughts toasted Mabel. "What's the secret to your success?"

"Haven't got one." She replied with her usual candor. "Just put one foot in front of the other and with any luck I end up where I'm supposed to be."

"And where's that?"

Before she could think up a funny reply, a short, stout, balding man in a dark green suit and fancy shoes strolled into the dining room. He smiled at Mabel. "It's been thirty years, kiddo."

She looked at him and recoiled. "What have I done to deserve ever seeing you again? I thought you were dead."

"Far from it." He grinned and reached into his jacket pocket. "See, I even brought you a present." He handed her what at first appeared to be a fluff of orange. Then it started to squirm. "I call him Custer. Found him in an alley fighting off an army of hungry sewer rats and decided to lend him a hand." Custer meowed, jumped from his hands and went exploring.

"And who do we have here?" Gertrude asked as she joined them.

"Meet my ex." Mabel said rolling her eyes. "See what the cat drags in when you don't lock your doors at night!"

Gertrude's brow wrinkled. "So you're the celebrated Rufus Moody."

"I wouldn't know about celebrated. But I was always a decent husband and father and did whatever I had to do to makes ends meet. And it wasn't easy back then either."

"Especially when you throw it around at every strip joint on Route 20." Mabel said dryly. "And as I remember one cold night without a any explanation you took off to Chicago with one of them," she paused, "dancers."

"What can I say," he smirked. "I was deep in the middle of my mid-life crisis. And it's taken me thirty years to climb out of it."

"What do you want?" Mabel's eyes were frosty and her tone was icier.

"I was kind of hoping you'd take me back, let me share your room ‘till my ship comes. After all we're still married."

"And what ship is that?" Mabel asked with a frown.

He ignored her question and looked around, nodding appreciatively. "Looks like you've done all right for yourself

Barney joined them. "Have we met?" he asked jovially.

"Rufus Moody." He extended his hand. "Back to make amends with the little woman."

Mabel glared at him and shook her head. "That's what you think!"

Rufus ignored her response and smiled ingratiatingly. "Why you never bothered to divorce me was a surprise. Guess there's still a little love left at the bottom of the barrel." Tentatively, he reached a hand toward her shoulder.

Mabel leaned back in her chair, avoiding his touch. "I figured as long as we were legal no one worse could come along and trip me up," she said. "Besides at the time a divorce didn't seem worth getting excommunicated over. Now I'm not so sure. You should know that after seven years I went to a lawyer and had you declared legally dead."

Custer sprang back into the room, looked up at Gertrude and purred.

"Have we met?" Seldom seemed to swoop into the conversation.

"My birthday present from the devil." Mabel said.

"What a splendid recommendation," Seldom grinned. (To be continued)

Rufus looked tired and somewhat worn. He was sitting by the bay window in the parlor. It was late and the well-wishers had gone home. Sadie yawned and waved as she went off to bed. Harry and Barney were still up as were Gertrude, Mabel and Seldom. "May I offer you another spirited libation," Seldom asked.

"I've never known him to ever turn down anything wet." Mabel huffed. She wondered when Rufus would leave.

"Oh come on Sugerpie," he grinned at her. "You been in a snit ever since I walked in here, and after all those years too. I'd of thought you'd be half glad to see me again. I mean how many husbands ever come back and offer their wives a second chance at love along with a back rub?"

"Just like Ulysses' return to Ithaca when he embraced his beloved." Seldom quipped. "Real classical motif going on here."

"Never met him but I'll bet he had tales to tell," Rufus grinned as he took the tall icy glass from Seldom. His cheeks and nose were ruddy.

"You got your own place?" Gertrude asked.

"Sure do," he nodded. "Got me a fine room over on the lake by Route Nine. And I want you gals to know I'm a handy guy to have around," he went on quickly. " I can save you big bucks too." He pulled a little red ledger from his pocket. "Best way to save is to write everything down." He looked over at Mabel with a twinkle in his eye. "Something Sugerpie never got the hang for."

"Don't call me that or I'll give you a good swift kick." Mabel folded her arms across her chest and looked grim.

He waved the ledger. "See, right here I saved $23 just the other day on groceries, and another $16 at the hardware store. That's $39! Pretty good for an old sport like me." He gulped at his drink, set it down, and pulled a thick black wallet from his back pants pocket. "And I can pay my own way too." With dramatic flourish he pulled out a wad of grocery coupons and thrust them onto the side table by his chair.

"Right there's over $200 in savings on everything from tuna fish to orange juice, compliments of yours truly The more I save the more I have to spend and then the more that's left over can be used for other things or at least that's how I think. See what I mean?" He crinkled his eyes at Gertrude and smiled.

"I kinda get your point," she said vaguely. "So how does it come in so it can go out so good?"

"Well that takes a little thinking up!" Rufus cranked his neck, took another long pull on his drink, and then held out his empty glass. He cleared his throat. "A little here and a little there, I like to go for diversity. Nothing tied up in one basket."

"Smart." Barney nodded. "Me too."

Seldom took his glass and went to refill it.

Rufus grinned. "Life's not much more than a game of chance. And if you got a little seed you get big bushes, flowers that bloom and smell pretty."

"Sure do." Barney agreed. ‘What you say you do again?"

"It's all kind of a bagatelle crap shoot these days," Rufus said in his best man-to-man tone. "Sometimes the casinos, the dogs, and of course here and there a friendly neighborhood game..."

Barney's eyes lit up. He smiled at Rufus. "Sounds like fun."

Rufus nodded absent mindedly. "Yeah." He stopped to think. "Now and then when the spirit moves me I like to shoot the moon on a long shot at the track. And when that pony comes home to roost the drinks are on the house." (To Be Continued)

"Hasn't changed a twit in thirty years," Mabel said sadly. "Why in blazes was I so broken up when you left? That's what I'm sitting here trying to figure out."

"Love a man like me and it lasts a lifetime. Like a big tree on the front lawn."

"What happens when them long shots of yours fall apart in the home stretch?" Gertrude asked.

For a moment Rufus looked glum. Then he smiled. " I still have my grocery coupons for tuna and orange juice." He said optimistically. "As long as there's a little something in the till then the song of the open road is as good as any concerto ever banged out by Bay Toven."

"I suppose the older you get the easier it is for you to shuffle a deck of cards," Mabel sighed. "And he always had such good hands too. Would have made a fine roofer or even a Master Plumber. If he'd put his mind to it."

"Sugerpie you sound so like your mother I can see her sweet Irish eyes smiling down on us from the hereafter."

Seldom laughed and handed him another refill.

"You think he's funny!" Mabel pursed her lips.

"I think matrimony's hilarious." Seldom snickered.

"Maybe that's cause you're gay." Mabel said tartly.

"Being gay is very fashionable," Seldom smiled. "Right now it's politically correct to have a generous assortment of gays sprinkled about the best neighborhoods in Worcester."

Gertrude laughed. "Don't pay no attention to Seldom, Rufus. Sometimes he likes to exaggerate."

"Phuff," Seldom blushed. "Being gay is just as fashionable as," he stopped to think, "as voting Republican." He turned his palms up and raised his eyes to the heavens.

"It takes all types to sink a battleship." Rufus said solemnly. "I'd never question anybody who's drawn to that certain kind of look you see in someone's eyes. It all boils down to basic chemistry you know."

Harry laughed. "You're a funny guy Rufus. I can see that the years have been good to you and taught you how to skate like a pro on thin ice." Maybe he sounded a little envious. "You've never lost touch with that boy in you."

Rufus nodded. "Doesn't win you much points with the ladies." He said ruefully looking over at Mabel. "Seems like they think they need to have the sort of man around who'll rejoice to go out in the hot sun and hoe a bed of turnips."

"Gertrude yawned. "You got a car Rufus?"

"Car?" he grinned. "I don't even have a drivers license. When I travel its usually on my thumb." He shrugged. "And sometimes when I feel flush by bus."

"Well it's getting kind of late," Mabel said meaningfully. She looked directly at him, her eyes piercingly focused. "You're going home tonight! Aren't you?"

Unless you'd like me to give you a back rub." He said hopefully. "Like I always used to."

Mabel's face resembled that of a prune. Disapproval radiated from her eyes. "You weren't invited here in the first place.'

"But it was your 75th birthday and how could you ever expect me to stay away?"

"Play much poker? "Barney asked, hoping to smooth the waters.

"Poker's my middle name. Rufus smiled. "Love that game! Sure is a lot more intense than baseball."

"Sure is." Harry agreed. "Come to think of it I haven't been in a real poker game since Carter was in the White House."

"Maybe a little friendly game," Rufus smiled. "No rough stuff, penny ante."

Harry's eye lit up like he just won the big prize at Coney Island.

"Oh my god!" Mabel sighed. "Do I have to live out the rest of my life with him around? What kind of a birthday present is this?"

"One that's ultimately worth a few mill," Rufus tried to smile but looked sad.

"God sure knows how to pull a fast one," Gertrude chuckled.

The next morning a small orange puff tickled Gertrude's nose. Reluctantly she opened her eyes and then smiled at Custer who had climbed up onto her bed and was nestled against her.

Downstairs Harry and Barney were cleaning up in the kitchen. Mabel still hadn't come down. Sadie came in and put two slices of bread in the toaster. "So how long did Mabel's ex stay?"

"Not really sure," Barney said blurry eyed. "There was finally nothing better to do than to go to bed so I did."

"Interesting guy," Harry said. "He's been around."

"But around what and for how long," she asked. "I mean I think it takes a lot of nerve for someone to just appear at his wife's birthday party out of the blue like that."

"He's a pretty out of the blue kind of guy," Barney smiled. "Kind of like a leprechaun."

"I wouldn't want to be married to a leprechaun." Sadie said, "even if they do help people find their pot of gold and the end of a rainbow. Personally I'd rather have a man who's home at night."

"I don't blame you there." Harry agreed. "Takes a certain kind of woman for a free flowing man like that. Someone who's inclined not to pay much attention to the stress life has to offer."

"You're right," Barney agreed. "If Rufus is under stress he certainly doesn't show it.. I didn't see any lines on his face or hands. There's still a lot of boy left in him.."

"Sounds like arrested development if you ask me," Sadie said. "In this day and age its un-American not to worry. And when you run into someone who doesn't you've got to look both ways before crossing that particular street."

` "He does seem happy. And his suit was obviously well tailored," Harry commented. "He didn't exactly look like a tramp."

"These days it's hard to tell about people," Barney said. "Everybody's head gets filled up with stuff you wouldn't want to read about in the papers."

"I know what you mean," Sadie agreed. "But it just isn't right not to take seriously those commitments that tie you down. Otherwise you'd just float away without any idea where you were until you get fitted out for dentures."

"Well personally I'm glad we're going to play Poker Wednesday night." Harry said.

"Me too!" Barney laughed. "These days Poker's more the national pastime than baseball ever was."

Seldom walked into the kitchen and poured himself some tea. "Did I miss anything last night?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I mean why stay up so late? I knew Mabel wasn't going to drag him off. Not after all those years. She's not the type."

"Hello! Did I miss something?" Sadie asked.

"Well," Seldom stretched his palms, "he kept coming on to her and insinuated they just pick up where they left off thirty years ago. Made it sound perfectly okay to go crank up the Tennessee Waltz down on old Cape Cod."

"Really!" Sadie said. "I doubt she needs a man anymore. After a certain time in life they're more of a bother than they're worth."

"You talk like that and you'll get burned as a witch." Seldom snickered.

Gertrude came into the kitchen carrying an orange fluff\that twisted and meowed. She set it down on the floor and poured some milk into a small dish. "Custer needs a drink." She grinned.

"Mabel's ex reminded me of a leprechaun." Barney smiled.

He has that Irish charm. That's for sure," Gertrude said. "I wonder if he's got any coupons left in that wallet of his for fresh Irish blarney."

Rufus appeared just before eight on Wednesday night. He seemed subdued, not his usual gregarious, party-going self. Earlier that day Harry had put together a bag with about $20 in pocket change. Barney had gotten several rolls of nickels and dimes at the bank that morning. They both felt like they were kids again.

"Poker!" Rufus smiled. He bent down and scratched Custer behind his ears. "Nice kitty, hope you'll bring me luck."

Seldom came in and the four men sat around the dining room table. Gertrude pulled up a chair and watched. Rufus took an unopened deck from his jacket pocket and ripped off the cellophane. "Ante up, folks."

Four nickels clinked onto the table. He shuffled faster than Harry could keep up. "Dealers choice, five card stud, deuces, one eyed Jacks wild," he said as he went around the table dealing first one card down then one card up."

"There are Jacks who are blind in one eye?" Seldom asked in genuine amazement. "I never knew that."

Barney laughed and passed. Harry took a peek at his down card and passed. Rufus studied his cards as though they contained a secret message. With incredible bravado he threw two singles onto the table. "I'm in for a deuce." He sounded as though a life death struggle was soon to ensue.

"I thought this was nickel and dime?" Gertrude remarked.

"Sorry," Rufus sounded embarrassed. He took back the two bills then reached into his pocket and carefully extracted a thin dime. "I'll open for a dime." He mustered as much gusto as anyone could possibly ever squeeze into ten cents.

Dime and a dime up," Seldom said bravely. "I just want you all to know that I've never played this before but I did read through Poker for Dumbbells this afternoon."

"I'll fold," Harry said. "These two cards appear highly uncomplimentary to me. I doubt anything good could ever come of them."

It went on like that for close to an hour and a half. The deal passed around the table. The games veered from five card draw to seven card stud to a couple nobody but Rufus knew about. Seldom usually dropped out in a hurry. Harry and Barney were down to their last few dollars. Rufus had a heap of change spilling out of a red leather sack open in front of him. He looked like King Midas up high on his throne. His face appeared ruddier than it seemed at Mabel's party. Gertrude wondered when was the last time he'd checked his blood pressure.

Seldom sighed. "What do they call it again when all the cards follow one another?"

"A straight." Barney kibitzed.

"I'll fold," Seldom said dramatically. "I certainly would never want anyone to ever accuse me of being partial to straights." He snickered and pushed back his chair. "In Poker for Dumbbells, they said quite emphatically that the way one gambles is a reflection of how one deals with life."

"Seen more royalty tonight then I can ever remember." Harry said. "But only in pairs never a threesome or even a full house."

"At least you're getting face cards," Barney threw in his hand. "Always ace high with nothing much to back it up."

"Four sevens," Rufus piped up. "Guess Lady Luck's with me tonight. He raked in the pot. "Now if Sweetie pie would just like to go to the Cape for a few days." He looked wistful. Then suddenly he began to cough and couldn't stop. Seldom rushed into the kitchen to get Rufus a glass of water. "Ahhhhhhhhhh," Rufus gasped and clutched at his chest. His head swayed, his body shook, stiffened, his chair slid back from the table. He began to pitch forward toward the floor. Barney and Harry jumped up, caught him and broke his fall. Carefully they helped him over to the living room couch. Seldom came back and handed the glass to Gertrude. Then he went upstairs to get Mabel.

Gertrude offered Rufus some water.. But he shook his head. Carefully she lifted his head and put a pillow under it. He looked at her and tried to smile. His breathing was shallow. "It's the ticker," he whispered. "Born in every Irishman is the mixed blessing that he gives out at the least opportune moment."

Mabel rushed in and went over to Rufus. His lips moved slowly: "Looks like we have to postpone the Cape, Sweetpie."

Her breath caught in her throat. She turned to Gertrude needing her then. "He'll be all right?" she pleaded.

"Three weeks ago Doc in Vegas told me I had about a month. That night I broke the bank, won more than I ever had in my life," his speech a slur of words. "All for you!" His eyes pleaded with Mabel for forgiveness.

Barney looked at Harry. "Think he's delirious?"

Gertrude put her hand on his forehead. "No need to speak."

Mabel knelt beside him; her eyes searched his face. She clutched his hand.

"Had to come back to you. Had to make it all up to you."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Lord in Heaven, tell me why, please! Why did you leave?"

He looked at her and saw into the eyes of an angel, smiling lovingly at him. He felt he was a small redheaded Irish boy who got caught the day he first skipped school. "Your mother always knew which way the wheels were supposed to turn." He could barely remember now, yet he heard himself say what had waited so long to be said. "Shouted with your mother about the wrench," his eyelids fluttered. He seemed to drift in and out of a dream. "Went down to the Super for milk, cigarettes. Ran into the naughty lady of Shady Lane." His mouth twisted. He sounded spaced out. "Took me to the big game with her, Chicago, left that night. Told me she was my lucky charm. Until the money ran out." He coughed. Gertrude gave him a sip of water. He couldn't swallow. A wave of overwhelming sadness swept through him. "Loved you so much, made it so hard for me to go. "

Mabel stared at him. She knew that what he had said was real, was him all the way but still it seemed unbelievable. "Just like that! Just that way! And all this time I'm thinking I did something awful to you that made you run away from me." She began to sob.

Gertrude rubbed her back soothingly. "There, there, it's all right." She looked up. A blue glow had spread through the parlor. Angelic forms radiating light held out their arms to Rufus. Pure joy filled Gertrude's heart. She knew that all was as it was intended. She knew that Rufus had come home to Mabel to die.

Rufus tried hard to breathe. One minute he was there, the next far from his body enmeshed in overwhelmingly joyous feelings of love. Then he was back at their old place, Mabel in the yard in her colorful two-piece swimsuit. He could see Mabel, but couldn't feel his fingers. "Lucky charms. They can keep a man feeling young," then he started coughing again.

Harry shook his head and sighed. Barney looked worried. Seldom came back in. "I called 911. "Anything else I can do?"

Rufus floated in and out of consciousness. Mabel was so glad Gertrude was there with her.

"Sweetpie," he whispered, " key, vest pocket, for you. "

"Don't talk," Mabel's hands trembled.

"Bags of it. Bus station." His eyes twinkled. "All yours." Then his face relaxed. He knew he'd made his amends as best he could.

Hesitantly Mabel opened his green corduroy jacket, reached into his vest pocket and took out a stubby locker key.

Harry and Barney looked at each other. "Bags of what?" Barney wondered.

Faces of angels were close to Rufus now. He could remember every day of his life. Each was totally clear and made perfect sense. Rufus understood then that he had lived his life the best he could. With great effort he said "Sweetpie, we never made it to the Cape. But now you can go buy it and name the first casino after me."

Then all he knew and could feel was the light that swirled itself around him. The angels beamed love and joy at him; he knew that he had come home. He felt loved, as though he were an infant in his first moments of life. His body shuddered and something inside him exploded. Blood seeped out his nose and mouth as his lifeless form sagged back into the cushions.

Far off in the distance Gertrude could hear little children's laughter. The effervescent blue light glowed even brighter. She smiled, reached over and closed his eyes. Rubbing against her leg Custer meowed.

Around noon that Saturday Rufus Moody, aged seventy-seven, was laid to rest in Our Lady of Perpetual Optimism Cemetery in Worcester. It was a small funeral. Harry, Barney, Seldom, Sadie, Gertrude and Mabel who genuinely grieved his passing. They were joined by a handful of his childhood friends. The elderly priest from St.Jude's performed the ceremony.

"A soul who loved not wisely but too well," concluded the priest's brief eulogy. Rufus was remembered for his natural skill at hammer and nails, his boyhood athletic prowess, and that sense of wanderlust of almost Byronic proportion that he always insisted kept him feeling young.

Despite Mabel's embarrassment Gertrude had sprung for the flowers and the rented limo as well as the burial costs. Little was said about Rufus' insistence that his key would afford Mabel a lifetime of riches. Privately Harry and Barney agreed that his last moments were delusional. When out of earshot of Gertrude and Mabel, Seldom even suggested that what he feared awaited Mabel in the bus station locker might well be Rufus' laundry.

After the burial Mabel got back into the limo. "I never expected this," she said. She wore all black, even pointy black shoes that laced up.

Gertrude followed her in and sat beside her. "You never know what God's got up his sleeve," She smiled gently and took Mabel's hand.

Mabel nodded her appreciation and wiped a tear from her eye.

Harry and Barney slid in next to Sadie and Seldom who's mind was preoccupied fearing he'd not get his exams corrected and in on time.

"Back to the Inn," Harry, told the driver.

"Stop at the bus station first," Mabel said in a tired voice. She held the stubby brass key, staring at it as though it were the final piece to an unexpected puzzle.

Not much was said as they crossed town. At the bus station Barney and Harry offered to bring back "whatever's in there."

"I'll go with you." Mabel said.

"Whatever you say!" Harry offered to take her arm but she shrugged him off.

Tearfully Mabel inserted the key and locker forty seven opened easily. Inside were two large nondescript blue duffel bags. "These suckers weigh a ton," Harry grunted as he lifted them out. Stoically he and Barney each grabbed a bag and with Mabel in the lead they went back to the limo.

Seeing them heft the two bags, Seldom arched his brows quizzically. "Broke the bank, huh! With whom, Bonnie and Clyde?"

"Hush!" Gertrude said and they rode back to the Inn in silence.

Custer greeted them as they came through the front door. He rubbed against Gertrude's ankles; sniffed the two duffel bags and began to purr. Mabel sounded resigned and tired. "Put them out of the way in the kitchen. We'll figure out how to open them later."

"Sure," Harry said. He and Barney carried them past her. Seldom busied himself making coffee while Sadie opened and served Italian pastry on a fancy platter. Mabel scooped ice into a bucket and carried cans of soda into the dining room. That's when she saw Rufus' red drawstring leather pouch. It was still on the table where he had sat and seemed to bulge with change.

She sighed and picked it up. There was something in it other than coins. Carefully she spilt the contents into a bowl. Beside the coins there were two small keys.

Enough is enough, she thought. She took the keys and went into the kitchen. Harry and Barney had put the duffle bags atop one another in the corner by the cellar stairs. She saw Rufus standing patiently beside them. He winked at her, threw her a kiss and vanished into the mid afternoon sun.

She took a key, fitted it into the top lock and unzipped the bag. She gasped. Packets of thousand dollar bills spilled out onto the kitchen floor. "Gertrude," she called, "you're never going to believe this." She pushed the first bag aside and unlocked the second. It too was jammed full of cash, more money than she'd ever seen in her entire life! She clutched her arms around herself and began to cry.

Gertrude came in and saw the cash spilling out of the bags. She put her arms around Mabel. "He loved you, he really did." Mabel nodded. "Happy Birthday Mabel," Gertrude said softly. Custer bounded into the kitchen. He went over to the money, sniffed and began to purr.

The End (For Now)