World Wide Spider Web

"Ready to sign up for the World Wide Spider Web?" Duck asked Owl as the two met by Owl's tree near the old mil pond. "I'm selling web sites for the spiders."

"Spider webs are better than cob webs?" Owl joked at Duck.

Not necessarily," Duck fired back. "Cob webs were once said to be the work of fairies. Very supernatural. But Spider Web dot com. Why that's virtually everything."

"Why should I get involved." Owl asked tactfully. "I'm pretty happy with my life just as it is."

"Then you'll want to go to Just As It Is dot com and enjoy life all the more. Those spiders have anything you could ever want or need up there on their big web. Virtually anything, anyway," Duck paused and pulled out his cigar.

"Anything! Anything at all?" Owl was not convinced.

"Got it!" Duck beamed. "Sign on and get fifty virtual dollars free. Then you'll have a few extra bucks to spend when you get out there on the web."

"Now wait a minute! What I am I going to do with whatever it is I get?"

"Good question,' Duck smiled "Considering that you'll get virtually anything you might want make you your mind at the time."

"Anything at all," Owl's voice was full of wonder and questions. "How can that be?"

"Virtually," Duck said heroically holding his head hi. "We're on the threshold of virtually a new century. And by the end of it everybody will be able to stay home all the time living the good virtual life."

"Your telling me that if I sign on with the spiders I won't ever have to go over to the pond in early morning to beat out those early birds and get myself a worm?"

"Right on," Duck beamed. Exactly! Just log on to early bird dot com and make your selections. Why they've got the best virtual worms in town."

"But I don't really like worms!" Owl confessed. "I was just setting an example. I fear that this just isn't my time."

"Well then you might want to try stitch in time dot com and see what time has in store for you," Duck replied. " Right there on the world wide spider web."

"Let me get this straight," Owl persisted. "Once I'm on the spider web I can do virtually anything at all without ever having to leave home or even get out of my big comfy chair for that matter?"

"Right on," Duck cheered leaping high fives into the air. "By George, I think you've got it."

"I'll never have to trudge over to the swamp, ever again," Owl said resignation in his voice. His chiropractor had told him that walks to the swamp were essential for his good health. "Ok I'm in. But just tell me one thing."

"Sure what's that? Duck beamed as he pulled out the paperwork.

Owl looked at Duck in total bewilderment. "If all that is said about the worldwide spider web is true then eventually I'll never have to leave my chair, let alone my tree."

Duck beamed at Owl. "You've got that right. But it still might take a little before the world becomes absolutely virtual."

"But how does it all work?"

"Ask and it shall be given." Duck said expressing a certain quantity of spiritual pomposity. "All you have to do is ask. And for openers within two to four years everything will be cordless and operated by voice command."

"But isn't it true that ‘when life looks like easy street there's danger at the door?" Owl asked quoting a popular song lyric from another era."

"You'll have to check that one out at Easy Street dot com." Duck began. "Then there's always Stay At Home dot com in case you want to find out more."

"But what about those of us who like going out." Owl persisted, certain indignation in his voice. "What is to become of the wind and the waves and the sunshine and the full moon over the meadow each month? Owl asked realizing that this new century certainly would influence and change the way reality's perceived."

"Just go to Virtual Sun dot com," Duck began. "Then select your virtual location and put yourself in it. It's as easy as that and its all right there before your eyes."

"My virtual eyes?"

"No your own eyes first before you can use your virtual eyes."

"Put myself in what? And how do I do this? This all seems very confusing to me."

Duck sighed and smiled at his usually professorial friend. "Haven't you been keeping up with genetic research? Why in time we will virtually be able to duplicate ourselves, and all that is required is typing into the computer certain sequences of numbers, letters and symbols, which replicate our genetic code. That way we reinvent ourselves virtually. Of course, once that's all set then we can clone our way along to wherever it is we want to go without having to go anywhere at all."

"Then if all we're really doing is standing still why bother?" Owl asked. "Why spend all that time and energy if we just end up where we are in the first place?"

"So we can be virtually ourselves," Duck sighed heavily. "Look, in order to really understand how this all works I suggest you find a child of about twelve years of age and ask him. He'll fill you in better than I can."

"Then its all part of the youth culture?" Owl said realizing now why everything seemed so confusing. I must be too old to see the virtue in reinventing everything as it is already."

"A child shall lead you," Duck promised. "Just sign here and believe me once you become your old self again you'll be glad you did."